Before I opened The Treehouse Agile Learning Community, homeschooling was going well for us. I had spent the previous three or so years really deschooling. Deschooling is a common term in the homeschooling world referring to the process of unlearning rules and systems of mainstream “schooling” in order to clarify your own values around education. We had been leaning more into our own kids’ interests, releasing our family from the timelines and checklists of public school, and we were re-discovering joy, curiosity, and passion—for all of us, not just our kids. In fact, I was loving our simplified learning rhythms so much that I started coaching other homeschool moms.
When I talked with other moms, one thing came up over and over: How do I find people to do this with? When you walk away from a system, although it can be very freeing, it can also feel very scary. A system gives you a task list, it clarifies what to value, which in turn gives you your metrics for success. Often, and I think especially when we are successful in the given system, we don’t stop to question whether or not we agree with the values set forth by the system. It’s just “the way things are done.” Without community and its accompanying system of values and schedules, it’s easy for homeschoolers to feel like they are drifting. Moms (and dads too) wonder when they have done enough, and worry if they are messing up their kids. They often try to straddle two worlds, checking off the boxes that public schools follow, while also learning about and trying to follow an assortment of new educational philosophies and their values. Now they are not only worried about reading, writing, math and chemistry, but also 1000 Hours Outside, Montessori shelf work, project-based learning, and lots of living books. And don’t forget to go to homeschool co-op so your kids get “socialized.”
Before I started my school, I was learning to let go of a lot of things, and set our family’s rhythms according to seasons. I was teaching other moms to view their homeschool through the lens of needs and values. Each season, we have to set priorities to meet certain needs and live certain values. We can’t do all things all the time, so we need to decide which thing to go big on. In the spring of 2024, I decided to go big on one thing: starting a school for unschoolers.
Now in my second year of running the school, I am seeing the fruits of community, and it helps me keep the fires burning when I come up against the challenges that also inevitably come with working in community. All of life is a great balancing act between the desires of the individual and the needs of the community.
Currently, my kids share their house, many of their things, and both of their parents with 28 other kids three days a week. I am proud of the way they have embraced this new family venture and tried to be welcoming of our “school friends,” as we call our bonus kids. As much as I enjoyed our simple homeschool life, here are some of the reasons I am glad I chose to build a community rather than continuing to homeschool on our own:
- Increased accountability. One of the wonderful things about homeschooling is the flexibility. However, with that flexibility can come a lack of accountability. Almost any goal can be postponed or dropped altogether for a tired toddler, a grumpy tween, or a stressful morning. While I built systems for my family as a homeschool mom, and I consider myself fairly disciplined, there is nothing like having 28 kids descend on my house every week to keep me in a rhythm of setting intentions for, and reflecting on, our educational experience. I like that my kids are also learning to keep commitments through trial and error, and observing what happens when others keep or don’t keep plans.
- Increased opportunity to try new things. One value my husband and I had in our homeschool was that we try new things. However, in a family, you can be somewhat limited to the ideas of your own interests or skills. Also, sometimes an idea from Mom or Dad just doesn’t hit like it does from a peer or a cool older kid. I am glad my own kids are being exposed to new interests, and having momentum around them to help them try new things.
- Leadership opportunities. One challenge expressed by public school teachers is passivity, or sometimes it is called learned helplessness. When kids are not given the opportunity to make their own decisions, they sometimes decide it isn’t worth having or expressing an opinion. I think we see evidence of this in our communities when there is apathy about voting in elections, but no shortage of complaints about “the system.” Working in a community is giving my kids (both my biological and my bonus kids) the opportunity to try leading their ideas. They are learning that being a leader isn’t easy, and they are seeing that ideas take shape when people are willing to invest, not just be passive.
- Opportunities to serve and contribute in meaningful ways. In our mixed-age environment, kids build confidence in their own skills when they can help someone else with a challenge. They experience a positive feedback loop when they have peers who appreciate their project or a shared talent, often building self-concept in ways Mom or Dad never could. They see that their skills can have a meaningful effect on others, increasing their desire to develop their talents further. As much as I value allowing my kids to follow their interests, I am glad that they have this community to see that they are not an island unto themselves.
Our school is a microcosm of the real world. The kids have freedom to choose how they spend their time, AND they are bound by certain community agreements that help them share resources and respect one another’s space, work, and property. What a blessing to live in a state that respects the individual rights of families to choose where and how their kids are educated, and also works together in community to provide resources for families who need alternative education paths for their kids!
