A colleague recently asked me about parent engagement, which I believe is one of the most powerful and, at times, one of the most underestimated drivers of a thriving unconventional community. In response, I shared three characteristics that have made all the difference in fueling parent participation at eXtend: the openness of our communications platform, welcoming support of parent-led programs and activities, and Parent Duty. Whether you are just beginning your program or are looking to deepen the investment of the families you already serve, the question isn’t whether parent engagement matters. Rather, it is how to cultivate it authentically within your community. In sharing these keys here, my hope is that other founders will find a framework, and perhaps some inspiration, for building the type of community where families don’t just participate; they belong.
When eXtend first opened, we utilized GroupMe and established a group with the intention of it serving as a means for leadership to communicate important information to our parents. Almost immediately, it turned into a free-for-all, with most of the posts originating from parents communicating with each other. Families were asking for homeschooling advice, sending in prayer requests, celebrating births and birthdays, organizing meet-ups and meal trains, and so much more. Our families were more than just communicating on GroupMe; they were literally doing life together.
While some families thrived with all of the interactions, others were overwhelmed by the sheer volume of posts and ended up muting the group. As leaders, our response was not to shut down the group. Instead, we formed a separate “Official” group for leadership posts, which we use for time-sensitive notifications and to which every family is required to subscribe.
Since then, individual academic classes and full grades have created their own GroupMe groups. Additionally, we have a group for the high schoolers, one for the senior class, one for families to swap and sell used curricula, and even an active Alumni group. This year, we are forming a “Marketplace” GroupMe where the entrepreneurs in our community may freely advertise their services to the community. Together, these groups have fostered a sense of belonging and connected our families in ways that we could have never imagined.
Another facet of successful parent engagement comes from our support of parent-initiated activities. At eXtend, parents are fully encouraged and supported as they create opportunities for families to engage with one another both within our program and within the greater homeschooling and unconventional education communities. This has resulted in exceptional field trip experiences; community events; the establishment of a chapter of BETA Club, a national leadership and service organization for elementary, middle, and high school students; and the formation of S.P.U.R.S., a program similar to a Parent–Teacher Association.
Not only do instructors lead field trips for their classes, but parents also organize community-wide excursions to museums and cultural centers, as well as standing annual trips to destinations such as Guppy Gulch (an inflatable water park) and lCE! at the Gaylord, an annual themed event that turns the Gaylord Hotel’s lower lobby into a frozen winter wonderland. Parent involvement, however, extends well beyond field trips. For the last three years, eXtend has hosted a homeschool Spelling Bee open to all homeschoolers, regardless of their participation in our program. This event, now a staple of our community, was the brainchild of one of our parents, who continues to organize and run it each year.
eXtend is home to Maryland’s first all-homeschool chapter of the National BETA Club, thanks to parents who wanted to offer the meaningful experiences of leadership and service that are central to BETA Club’s mission. When the idea was presented, leadership immediately agreed, and BETA Club has since welcomed all homeschooling families in our area, regardless of whether they are part of our program.
S.P.U.R.S. (Service, Prayer, Uplifting words, Rewards, Support) was created in our second year by a parent who wanted to provide opportunities to honor our instructors and leadership team. She gathered a group of parents who now celebrate birthdays, send notes of thanks and encouragement, and organize Christmas and end-of-year gifts for our instructors and program leaders. S.P.U.R.S. has continued to serve as a tremendous source of support for our entire community. When my husband passed suddenly in 2022, S.P.U.R.S. not only organized a meal train for my family, but also coordinated and ran the repast that followed his funeral. It has been truly humbling to experience such an extraordinary outpouring of love and support from our families through S.P.U.R.S.
Giving parents the freedom to create opportunities for students and families to connect, whether through field trips, community events, or organized programs, reduces the workload of our leaders and gives parents a genuine sense of ownership in our program. I genuinely believe that this has been the greatest contributor to the high level of parent engagement in our community.
Yet another source of parent engagement is Parent Duty, which requires each family to sign up for approximately seven days during the program year to provide hands-on assistance as we run the program day. On these days, parents arrive approximately 30 minutes before the start of classes to help set up classrooms and are then assigned duties throughout the day.
A parent may be stationed at the entrance to check students in and out, or assigned to a common area to monitor that space. Parents may also find themselves assisting instructors in the classroom! This is especially true when our elementary and middle school students have Science lab days. All duty parents monitor snack time, ensuring that everyone is safe and the building and grounds of our host church are properly cared for. At the end of the day, it’s all hands on deck as we clean the building, always leaving it better than we found it.
While we joke and say, “If you haven’t broken a sweat or haven’t broken a nail, you haven’t done Parent Duty,” the truth is that working alongside one another forms relational bonds among families and with instructors that simply cannot be replicated by any other means. Parents are afforded a first-hand glimpse into what it takes to run a program day, and many leave with a deep appreciation for the perspective they would have never gained apart from Parent Duty.
At eXtend, parent engagement is not something we manufacture; it is something we cultivate. For founders looking to build this type of connected environment, consider offering communication platforms that enable families to connect and find each other, say yes when parents approach you with ideas, and create structured opportunities like Parent Duty that allow parents to serve alongside you. When families are given open lines of communication, the freedom to lead, and meaningful opportunities to serve, they stop being bystanders and become true stakeholders in the programs they are effectively helping to build. What we have discovered is that when parents are genuinely invested, what is created far exceeds anything founders and leaders could build on their own. What’s formed in the process is a meaningfully connected, authentic community of learning.
